Marriage, Values, & Being Hit By The Ignorance Truck

I got hit by what I'm going to call the "Ignorance Truck" last night.

In the course of hanging out with my good friends, Anthony, Luke, and Troy, I learned something that just hit me like a truck: It is not uncommon for wedding photography to run in the $2500-$3500 range. Wow!

My head spun as the concussion of this new information sunk in. Especially as I contextualized it with the monetary honorarium I have received in officiating a couple of weddings. From what I have heard and read it is common for this honorarium to be AT BEST 10% of this wedding photography number, and more likely around 5%. I feel self-conscious with making this point, so I'd like to mention a couple of things before I proceed. First, not getting more money is not my issue, I have not kept this money for myself, I have given it away. Second, as a photography enthusiast myself, I think it is great that photographers do that well!

What this whole revelation triggered for me was a bit of spiritualized critique of our value system. What does it say about our value system that we budget more for just about everything than we do for the work of God? Yeah, I do think that officiating over a wedding makes me an implement of divine work! I take it very seriously as I am presiding over a bond that I expect to last "til death do us part", before God. Where I'm at in this process is wrestling with questions like: Do we really value more the work of one who captures temporal images than the work of one who 'captures' images (see Genesis 1:27 & Genesis 2:24) of eternal value?

I see a clear connection between this and the oft reported statistics that tell us that around 50% of all marriages in our country end in divorce. I have seen financial (money) issues be a significant factor in marital strife and divorce. Is this yet another example of rampant materialism in our society?

Some might argue that photographers possess special training, equipment, and experience that develop their value. No argument from me there. Photographers also put a lot of time into preparation and follow up. No argument there. This is not an argument against photographers or quality wedding photos. I am simply unloading some thoughts that are in some way connected to that famous scripture, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21) We in the Western World are a money-centric society. I think our values are reflected in how we distribute our money with respect to any particular area of life, including our wedding ceremony.

So, one might ask if I'm trying to make a case for couples to begin 'paying' clergy the same they would their photographer. No. I don't know of anyone in my line of work who would accept such a hefty amount. But, I'm not comfortable with complaining without proposing a solution. How about this: Couples invest an equal amount of money into the kinds of things that clergy do when marriages become strained - counseling. How does this look? Some are already doing part of it in that they participate in premarital counseling. Sometimes this costs, often it does not as it is a requirement of the clergy who will be officiating and that person conducts the counseling themselves. Then there are a number of 'newly-married' counseling opportunities available along with seminars, books, etc. Finally, the novel idea: a special 'rainy-day' fund specifically designated for counseling when/if things get tough through the years. It is worth it. Think about it in comparison to the value of wedding photos for a divorcing couple.

Thoughts?