“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I guess this is a not uncommon behavioral response by many in my types of roles. But, does that make it right? I guess the question could be asked, "how is it working for you Dave?" Well, not as well as I would hope. Certainly, there is a place for correction when another is in error. If you walk out into traffic, it is totally appropriate for me to grab you by the arm or shirt collar and yank you back. In circumstances where danger or harm is not imminent, it doesn't seem appropriate to respond in this way (whether literally or figuratively).
If I were to theorize as to what is at the heart of this kind of response (beating people into submission (figuratively) so they will depart from their error and do what is right), I would say it is arrogance. Maybe not the pompous, boisterous kind, but certainly the subtle, insidious kind. When we see others who have not figured out the truth that we have discovered (there again is a big assumption - that we are right about what is true), we feel some need to make them understand. This is not a wrongheaded way of thinking, I believe it is often rooted in genuine concern. I certainly do want to see people learn how to live the best they can, and be doing this through continuous growth.
So, back to that dead German guy. I feel like encouragement needs to be used in every circumstance save the 'imminent danger' situation. Another dead guy said this:
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. - Proverbs 12:18
I think there are a few types of healing words that we can identify: affirmation, consolation, praise, and exhortation. There are undoubtedly many other categories that one could identify, but I'm starting with these. I want to encourage people by recognizing what they are doing that they need to be affirmed in. How disheartening it is that the world seems to take so much each of us does for granted! I want to encourage people by consoling them in their failures, losses, and setbacks. Sometimes we just need to be lifted up from the relentless beat-down that life can seem to be when success, victory, or progress are but a distant memory. I want to encourage people by praising them for excellence. I'm a dreamer who envisions a world could be if we all lived and loved to our potential. If I want to see that materialize to any significant degree, I need to do my part to reward these efforts. After all, who can truly sacrifice without feeling like something will make it all worth while? I want to encourage people by exhorting them to do what they are capable of. I find it so energizing when a friend comes alongside me and reminds me of how much more I'm capable of. I don't want to settle for a mediocre, colorless life, I want life and life to the full!
Yeah, there it is. That is what is on my mind these days.
4 comments:
I appreciate your thoughts here. I too struggle with trying to "educate" people on why they are wrong and I am right. It's a challenge to work on it. It becomes even more challenging when I'm being intentional with how I respond to someone, but that person is not being so intentional in their response to me. It's difficult to keep the pot from boiling over.
The way I figure, I think I'm going to really work on steering toward encouraging people in ways that will build them up, and maybe point them in a good direction. The challenge to stick to that will only increase if I find myself in some kind of debate or argument. I think I need to be asking myself if I am motivated by some kind of need to be 'right'.
Thanks for sharing, Dave. I was hoping stuff like this might find its way to your blog. I'm not much for politics, so peering into your mind on things spiritual is very much appreciated :)
Regarding encouragement... I've heard people subtly gossip about what you refer in yourself as being a bit critical or cynical. I want to dispel those sort of light accusations and encourage you in your progress, if you want to call it that. I don't know if those were issues with you before... maybe yes, maybe not. I wasn't really around.
Regardless, I don't really see it. I see a very encouraging person in you already. Even if it doesn't feel natural for your personality type, you have been an amazing encouragement to me. Let me encourage you that. If you had not been at Ethnos at the time you were, and had you not been willing to accommodate a relative stranger like me in your midst by letting me share my story and my confession... I might still be lost in sin and darkness. I say this with tears - because of your obedience in Christ and tender-heartedness... I am a restored brother! God bless you and your family! I should make this thanks more public and known, for your servant-hood has helped change my life.
Our conversations since then have been very fruitful. Sure, we've had a few scrapes... I'm sure my baggage has been a burden, and for that I'm sorry. I pray God richly reward you for your good work and cancel out burden I pass on with a thousand blessings!
Your sermons lately have been piercing. I see the Holy Spirit very alive and working in and through you. I don't really care if anyone criticizes you in any fashion because of personality quirks. We all have them. Mine are probably the most strange - makes me a bit hard to approach. You have chosen to take your whole life - quirks and all - and place it all in God's hands... to serve Him and the rest of us.
Thanks for doing that. Thank you very much, brother.
Good Word Dave, Thanks for blogging!
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